The Anti-Tumblr

I’m tired of seeing all these stupid signs on campus telling me to conserve energy. I see absolutely no point in it. Oh sure the campus wants you to think they’re going green by trying to save energy and end global warming and all that jazz but really, it’s all about money. The more students they convince to “save energy” the more money they save.

Will they lower the cost of living on campus? Of course not. Do they lower tuition? Nope. They raise it yet again so they can buy another statue or dig up another sidewalk that’s only a year old or do some other random construction project that requires them to block off 10 more parking spaces.

So I ask, what’s my incentive? Where’s my motive? To save the campus a couple of dollars? I think I’ll pass. I could care less about the environment; ESPECIALLY when campuses and companies just won’t admit that they’re becoming environmentally friendly to save money. They want you to believe that they want a greener environment but in all reality, they just want an excuse to provide lower quality shit for the same price. I shouldn’t have to mention that it’s bullshit that to recycle in Bowling Green you get charged a recycling fee on your utility bill.

In retaliation to the campus’ campaign to save energy I’m going to:
(please take note that I no longer live in dorms, but I still advise anyone living in them to do so)

• Turn on all of the lights in my room before I leave (even in the day time).
• Set my laptop to “High performance” instead of “Power saver”.
• Take more napkins, forks, spoons, and knives than I need from the cafeteria.
• Leave my windows open with the heat all the way up on cold days and A/C at full blast on hot days.
• Let the sink run while I brush my teeth.
• Take longer showers… Maybe stretch it to an hour if I have time. My campus had the balls to ask people to conserve water during a drought yet they still watered the dead grass every day.
• Print 10 copies in the computer labs even though I only need 1.
• Use 3 trash bags because the ones they give us rip at the slightest touch of anything as sharp as a plastic spoon.
• Flush the toilet 5 times every use.
• Then out of spite, I’m going to catch a deadly disease and cough on everybody’s door knob!

Then I will sit back and watch the world crumble from sickness and global warming… all of which I have created!

If you have any suggestions on how to be wasteful or cause mayhem, I’d love to hear them!